Today’s passage is Mark 7:24-37. Jesus goes north outside of Israel to Tyre to an unnamed person’s house where a Greek woman begs him to drive a demon out of her daughter. Jesus insults her by saying he hasn’t been sent to feed dogs like her. She responds that even dogs can eat the crumbs that others drop. Impressed by her, Jesus heals her daughter. Jesus goes to the Decapolis region where he heals a deaf mute brought by his friends. Jesus says not to tell anyone but they do.
Who brought me to Jesus?
Who do I bring?
Do I even ask for crumbs from Jesus?
I have a hard time asking for things, for help, for pity, for love.
I have really clear wants and desires but not clear, straightforward asking for them.
I don’t know why this is.
As I child I was told that it was impolite to ask for things and that I should be grateful for whatever I was given.
But I think I should’ve been able to outgrow that, or at least be able to discern when to be thankful and when to ask.
When I got older, I rarely asked for help in anything because I was determined to do everything myself.
It was stupid pride.
I needed to prove to others how competent I was because I doubted myself and my real ability.
By never asking for help, never being honest and humble, I never really came to know myself objectively and what I could really do.
I was always hiding behind my bravado, my facade of never needing anything from anyone love and affection.
As a result, I was never good at dealing with my emotions and feelings or, when I recognized others’ emotional needs, being good at giving what they needed.
I felt emotionally trapped a lot of the time, just like the deaf mute man, not able to communicate well and, as a result, not able to receive well either.
I was an emotional oaf, something of a misfit.
My prideful reticence naturally got me in trouble because, although I picked up on many social cues about how to behave, I wouldn’t respond kindly, gently or well at all.
I sometimes wonder how I managed to have any friends.
Jesus had such pity on me that he pushed me to my Korean wife, who I didn’t want.
When I accepted the Lord’s will in our marriage match and my wife accepted me, which took a year, she brought me to Wooridle and it’s here that I have been learning unplug my ears and hear other people’s stories and listen to God’s word every day. I
t’s been at Wooridle that I have learned to speak and tell who I am through the story of my sins.
Jesus unlocked me.
Now I’m even learning how to ask him for crumbs.
I’m looking forward to the day when I can sincerely ask him for a greater fullness of his Spirit.
Application: share a little more with one of my teachers who is making progress but could use a few more crumbs.
Lord, let me not be too proud to ask you, my Lord, creator of the universe, for what I and my Christian family members need to come closer to you.
