Today’s passage is Psalm 39.
David says he will control his tongue from sin when others are around but when he’s alone he cries out to the Lord to tell him about how long he will live and remind him of the shortness and vanity of life. He says his only hope is in the Lord. But he quails under the Lord’s discipline for his transgressions and wishes an end to his training so that he might rejoice again before he dies.
What is the scourge David wants removed? Why does he see himself as an alien and not a son of God?
Yesterday at lunch I was talking to a Chinese student.
I asked him where he planned to go to university, what he wanted to study and why.
When he said he wanted to be rich, I gave him a little of my testimony, telling him that I once lost all my money and when I once again had some money I gave ten percent of it to God every month. He looked surprised.
I said I did it because I was selfish and I needed to show myself that I trusted God with my life by managing on ninety percent of what I received.
He said that the struggle to get rich was important to him, that in competing with others he grew strong.
My student and I were at opposite ends of life’s spectrum.
He wanted to “heap up wealth” (6) while I “cry for help” (12) to God every day because I don’t know how long I will live and my sins stare at me.
They are like a scourge, a healthy spiritual one, but a scourge nonetheless.
I look forward to the day when God will take away their memory in heaven and I can rejoice with the Lord rather than feel alienated from him.
Life is short, a “breath” (5). Last week was my mother’s birthday. She’s 84.
Her father died at 65, her mother at 76.
I didn’t congratulate her, I just suggested that God was keeping her alive for a purpose that she hadn’t achieved yet. I worry about her salvation.
Last week I received confirmation that my American daughter will be coming to stay with me for a few months and go to my school.
She is 13 years old. Her mother and I never married.
Although I visit her every year and talk to her every fortnight, it seems like the moment of a breath that I held her in my arms a few hours after her birth and prayed for her, crying over the hard life she would have because of my sin in making her.
While she is with me, I will the twins of love and sin in her, my sin and my love for her.
Sin weaves through my short life and sometimes it seems to overwhelm it. I think that’s why David cries to the Lord and weeps (12). But the more I reflect on my this, the more grateful I am to Jesus calling me to faith in his redeeming death on the cross.
Application: make David’s promise mine, to keep my tongue from sin and muzzle my mouth.
Lord, let me not worry about the length of my life, but cry over my sins and rejoice in your cross that has redeemed me and ushered me on the path of joy.
