Today's passage is Acts 24:24-25:12. Felix was married to a Jew. He gave no judgment on Paul's case but kept him under house arrest for two years hoping for a bribe and had Paul talk to him often about Jesus. Festus became the new governor. He wanted to do the Jews a favor so asked Paul if he would be willing to stand trial in Jerusalem. Paul appealed to Caesar instead.
Why won't Felix make a decision? Why do I struggle with decisions?
Although Felix is a Roman politician, because he's married to a Jew he naturally knows something of Judaism and is curious about Jesus, who continues to create a lot of commotion.
He keeps Paul in the palace for two years because of his curiosity, because he may be hearing the call to faith. But he wants money too.
He doesn't get his bribe, he doesn't answer the call to faith.
Because he makes no decision about his spiritual life, he doesn't make any political decision about Paul, leaving everything in limbo.
I don't like making big decisions either.
Minor ones, like choosing a book to read or what to wear, are comfortable for me.
I like to have habits so that I don't have to think too much, just go on autopilot.
Choosing habits--like going swimming twice a week right after school--are hard to establish, but once in place, I don't have to make a decision about it anymore.
I just do it and feel better because I'm helping to keep myself healthy.
Hiring and firing teachers is hard because so much rides on my decision.
Doing QT is okay because it's a healthy spiritual habit.
But living the Word daily is hard because I constantly have to break into even the smallest moments of my day and ask for guidance.
I have to learn not to trust myself.
Today my school had its spring concert.
As principal, I have to welcome the parents and relatives.
I can't just do it anymore, though.
I had to find a room and pray for a few minutes about today's passage and ask the Holy Spirit for help.
Lord, keep your word ever before me and inspire me daily with your grace to make fresh decisions with your Word.
