Today's passage is Matthew 21:23-32.
When Jesus is asked by the chief priests by what authority he does what he does, Jesus asks them whether John the Baptist's baptism was from God or men. When they don't answer, Jesus won't answer either. He says prostitutes and tax collectors are entering heaven because they reprented at John's message while the chief priests didn't. Then the tells the parable of the two sons who in response to their father's command to work in the fields answer one way but act in a different way.
When someone says, "Hey, that's not fair" it's often accompanied with the same question the chief priests ask Jesus: "Who gave you the right to do that?"
Whenever I bring up the issue of fairness or authority in a situation it's because I'm not getting my own way.
Fairness to me means I get what I want. Authority to me means the power to do what I want or the power to block someone else. It's all about me.
I keep forgetting that it's about God not me.
Couples mokjang last night was a good example of my self-centred attitude.
The host couple arranged for a restaurant meal after which we would go to a room next door for sharing.
Half of us arrived on time. Because others would be late, we ordered our meals.
We were nearly finished eating when another couple arrived and ordered their meal. They were nearly finished when the wife of another couple arrived.
She ordered her meal. She was nearly finished when another couple arrived and ordered their meal. By the time we were ready to go to another room for worship and sharing it was 9:30 pm!
I was in two conflicting moods over this situation.
I was upset because we were so long in getting down to what I thought was the purpose of the meeting.
On the other hand I was happy because the woman who came late and the couple who came very late did, in fact, come.
They are new to faith and struggling, so their attendance was important.
Of my two conflicting moods--happy and upset--upset won the day and as a result my sharing was poor and no blessing to anyone.
I was tired from a week of trying to solve problems at school with my strength instead of God's.
I dealt with a lot of urgent problems but did little work on long term planning.
I felt frustrated.
One of the biggest ongoing wrestling matches in my life is with Time.
There's never enough time. It's where my workaholism stems from.
Many people tell me my time management is good, but if it were good my wife wouldn't have to call me at school and tell me it was time to come home!
Because time has been one of my adversaries for so long, I naturally think I knew him well. God helped me this week by showing me something I wasn't seeing.
It's the key to whole battle for me:
It's God's time, not mine.
I don't have a lot of trouble understanding that it's God's money and it's God's car, God's house, and God's job. But I thought I owned my time.
Because I thought I owned my time, I was selfish with it.
I was willing to share it with God, but there was a part of it that was all mine. I had a right to it.
It wasn't fair when other people and God tried to take it. By what authority did they dare trespass on MY time?
By what authority did that mother take up an hour of my time yesterday to receive comfort from me about how, together, we are helping her son get focused and engaged in school?
That time was already delegated to my strategic planning.
By what authority did my wife tell me we had to visit her friend on Thursday to give her QTin and know she's being prayed for?
By what authority did all those couple mogwons come so late to our couples mokjang?
Always I have been fighting God over time.
This week he showed me that the fight is with him.
I wish I could say the revelation instantly called me to repentance and reform. It didn't.
The events of this past week showed me that I'm just like the two sons in today's passage.
On some occasions I say "Yes, it's your time, Lord, and I will obey." Then I don't obey.
On other occasions, I say No, I don't want to do whatever it is I'm callled to do. But then I do.
As a personal servant to God, I am on 24 hour call. It's not my time. It's God's.
And because it's God's time not mine, the authority by which I am called to action is God's.
Although it's a mysterious relief to know this, my pride still rebels at it.
All week I have resisted obedience despite receiving the revelation that I have no call on my time because it's not my time in the first place, it's God's.
I have some serious repentance to undergo.
Lord, I rpay for your grace to lead me to a true repentance. Open my eyes to see that the time you give me is for your service and your glory. Open my heart to accept your loving revelation that my burden of time is unnecessarily heavy and that your yoke of time is light and easy. Win my battles for me, Lord, for your glory and my undeserved relief.
