Recovery
( John 21:15~25)
Pastor Seungmin Lee
I happened to see a married couple, battling with cancer. share their meditation, using QTin in 'Companion,' a KBS documentary program last year. I persistently inquired their whereabouts till I finally met them. The wife was diagnosed with stage 4 lymphoma while her husband was diagnosed with colorectal cancer stage 4 less than a month after their daughter was born, Her mother-in-law died from depression. The couple said that they felt a strong empathy through the intercessory prayer for Past Kim in her chemotherapy at the end of our morning prayer.
1. Recovery starts at the place of total failure. Peter had indescribable despair of himself after he denied and cursed Christ, whom he loved so much. Yet, in John 21:3, Jesus visited the place where Peter had fallen while Peter was on his way to catch fish as a total loser. Jesus said to Peter 'Simon son of John' in the same voice as when he had called Peter first. Like Peter, I decided to devote myself to Christ in my first year of high school. Yet, puffed up with conceit, I regarded myself as somebody for our church, without listening or inquiring of anybody until I received disciplinary action in our church. Later, I was hospitalized in a psychiatric ward. I was in accelerated therapy course for a month for quick recovery in order to study in the USA, While meditating on Psalm 40:1, 'I waited patiently for the LORD he turned to me and heard my cry' on the rooftop of the hospital, Jesus visited me just as he visited Peter at the Sea of Tiberias. Responding to the word, I wept and felt the core of my bitterness coming out of my heart. After coming back to ministry, I saw many replies to my sermon posted on our church Website. They were like Jesus‘ tender voice, saying 'Simon son of John,' which encouraged me a lot.
2. Recovery is preceded by receiving enough opportunities. Jesus asked Peter 'Do you love me?' three times, and Peter answered ‘You know that I love you’ three times. In the Greek version of the New Testament, Jesus asked twice the love of Agape, and philia once to see if Peter loved him at least with the love of Philia or friendship. Then Peter confessed his deepest heart. That was what I did, which God actually wanted to hear. I confessed that I could do nothing without Him. The frustration of my plan to study in USA, the two disciplinary actions of our church against my father while I was also disciplined, the sudden unveiling of my fathers illegitimate child, and my daughters fainting were all the signs of Jesus love for us.
3. Recovery is for doing our missions. The goal of recovery is salvation. In verse 15, the object of this salvation is lambs, then in verse 16 and 17, sheep. Jesus entrusted Peter, who confessed that he was nothing but a poor sinner, with his lambs, sheep, and in verse 18, the mission of Peters martyrdom. All we need to carry out Gods mission is humility, not ability. In fact, God allowed all the incidents to occur in order for Peter to confess humbly his total inability. My small group members are now in my memory because they actually took care of me, rather than I them as their leader.
4. Recovery is not to compare with others. Peter was very passionate while looking at Jesus. He was ready to feed the Lords sheep. Yet his passion was cooled when he saw John. Peter and John were totally different. Peter always took the lead and made blunders while John stayed behind. And he was scolded by Jesus for comparing himself with John. In verse 22, Jesus told him to focus on his own mission, saying 'What is that to you? You must follow me.' We often feel miserable not because we are poor, but because we are worse off than others. We all have our own mission. God uses people according to the quantity of their trials instead of their school background or their experience. Pastor Kim always chides me, even during her chemotherapy, for my shortcoming of not inquiring and listening to others. In verses 24 and 25, John implies that the disciple whom Jesus loved was himself, the author of this book. I really wanted to be like this John because of his humility, who put the spotlight on Peter, not himself, as Jesus number one disciple even though he recorded everything in his book. Jesus, who knows us well will visit us, too. He will ask us Do you love me? at the place where we fall. I pray that we all will recognize our sins and weaknesses through his question.
“When they had finished eating, Jesus said to Simon Peter, 'Simon son of John, do you truly love me more than these?' 'Yes, Lord,' he said, 'you know that I love you.' Jesus said, 'Feed my lambs.' (John 21:15)
