My name is Sangjin Lee, and I serve the Ezer community in Pangyo Youth Division 3. Today, we will meditate on the heart of God who is with us through the prodigal son, the householder son, who is with his father but does not know his heart and cannot participate in his fathers joy.
First, a God who invites even when we refuse.
The eldest son is returning home from a hard days work in the fields when he hears the sound of wind music and dancing near his house. He calls a servant to ask whats going on. He hears that his younger brother, who has been living off his fathers inheritance, has returned healthy and happy, and that his father has excreted his feast by catching a live calf. Upon hearing this, the firstborn son is furious and refuses to enter the house. However, my father invites the eldest son, who is living in hell, trapped in his own thoughts, feeling victimized and ashamed that he was the only one who worked hard, to enter the house.
There were times when I was a broken reed and strongly rejected my fathers counsel in the face of injustice. When my ex-wife was having a hard time at work, I would say, 'Its because youre not clean,' and I would point out the little things, demanding that she keep up appearances like a preachers wife. One day, I saw her cell phone messages and found out that she was having an affair, and I was very upset, thinking, 'Ive been working so hard in the ministry, and Im not even a goat!' But I couldnt share it with the community because of my dignity and sophistication, so I broke off the relationship through divorce. Then, when I was going to school as a returning student, I met Pastor Yangjae Kim, who was a lecturer at a faith retreat. When I heard her testimony of interpreting suffering and coming back to life through meditation on the Word, I thought, 'She is real!' and her presence at the retreat was Gods invitation to me to come home.
When things happen that we dont want to believe, when things happen that we cant acknowledge, we leave the church, we blame God, we retreat into our own caves, we divorce, we commit suicide, we lash out, and yet God comes to us and invites us to worship, invites us to attend the ranch, invites us to cutie. Because thats how were set free from the events of resentment and can enjoy the true joy of God.
Second, a God who is able to give up everything for salvation.
The elder son does not know his fathers heart at all, so he thinks this feast of catching a live calf for his younger brother, who has returned after spending all his money, is a great waste and unfair he thinks he has the merit of having served his father as master and worked like a servant, and his brother has no such merit and yet the father wastes material and time for the sake of salvation. He rejoices in the sinners return, even if it costs him money and harms him.This is the heart of our Heavenly Father. He waits a long time for our salvation, seeks us out, invites us, and loses time. The culmination of Gods waste is found in the sacrifice of His only begotten Son, Jesus Christ, on the cross.God gave His life to save sinners like me.
All I chose to do was get a divorce because I was bruised in pride, hurt by betrayal, and demanding to be compensated for the damage I had done. God had given His life for me, and I had completely rejected that grace, and I had faked my divorce, applied for ministry, and was being raised, and I was thinking, 'Am I even supposed to be here?' but I wanted to live.It wasnt until I heard my pastor preach one Sunday about how Elisha repented and prayed a selfless prayer because of Gehazi, and because of that, Gehazis eyes were opened and he saw the horses of fire and the chariots of fire, that I realized, Im the one whos been causing damage to the church, and because of me, you repented and prayed a selfless prayer! There were times when I was a broken reed and strongly rejected my fathers counsel in the face of injustice.When my ex-wife was having a hard time at work, I would say, 'Its because youre not clean,' and I would point out the little things, demanding that she keep up appearances like a preachers wife.
One day, I saw her cell phone messages and found out that she was having an affair, and I was very upset, thinking, 'Ive been working so hard in the ministry, and Im not even a goat!' But I couldnt share it with the community because of my dignity and sophistication, so I broke off the relationship through divorce. Then, when I was going to school as a returning student, I met Pastor Yangjae Kim, who was a lecturer at a faith retreat.When I heard his testimony of interpreting suffering and coming back to life through meditation on the Word, I thought, 'He is real!' and his presence at the retreat was Gods invitation to me to come home.
Saving love is the kind of love that keeps coming even when it is rejected, the kind that doesnt care what it costs, the kind that lays down its own life. To love like this, we should be loved by God. My home is Gods, and this is our mission: to take what is Gods and make it our own.
Last month, we had a Youth Group QT festival. The morning QT text was about Jesus going to a Samaritan village and when the people there refuse to let him in, the disciples ask him, 'Shall we call down fire from heaven to punish them?' but he rebukes them and takes them 'with him' and turns around and goes to another village.I cried unwillingly as I realized the love that my pastor and the community had for me, a sinner who had caused damage to the community, and took me with them at their own expense. And because of that grace, I am still breathing here today.I will always be the one who recommends and slaughtered calves for the salvation of souls.
My Heavenly Father, who is always with me, is constantly inviting, even when I refuse.He gives up everything for us, and it is our mission to know the heart of God like that and to consider what is the Fathers as my own.May we remember the grace of our Heavenly Father, who gives and loses everything for salvation, and may we also enjoy the precious grace of considering Gods things as our own, constantly inviting and losing worship and cutie for the sake of our struggling families.
