QT passage: John 9:25. ampldquoI was blind but now I see.amprdquo What a whirlwind of emotion regarding parents this week has been.
Pastor Kim Sung Woo spoke more and more deeply about his relationship with his parents over four sermons and that, combined with Jesus opening the eyes of the blind man, led to me seeing myself in a more objective way. Iamprsquom in my 70th year and still things come up and let me see who I was and who I am. I wrote two letters to my stepfather.
The first was a long confession of my many sins that directly affected him and my mother during their 50 year marriage. He said he cried when he read it and understood how hard that letter must have been for me to write. It was a huge relief for him to hear me confess what he had long wanted to tell me but had not. Thatamprsquos why he cried. My confession removed his burden.
In my next letter, again inspired by the sermons, I said how much I respected my stepfather for his loyalty to my mother by staying married till she died and for the financial care of her he had shown.
Then I told him of my deep and until now unrecognized and unseen anger at him, my mother and my father for my parentsamprsquo divorce when I was a teen. They broke my family and, though I suppressed my anger so deeply that I didnamprsquot see it until now, that anger sneaked out at others during my life, sometimes catching me by surprise because the depth of feeling was inappropriate to the occasion of a child breaking something or my wife disagreeing with what I said.
Finally, this week, I washed the mud from my eyes and saw the truth. I told my stepfather that I didnamprsquot get the chance to tell my father and mother about my anger because they died, but he was still alive, so I was telling him and I was also telling him that I forgive him and my parents. I said how beautiful Jesus was for taking away all our sins and giving us the best example of forgiveness on the cross.
My confession and forgiveness took away my anger and I felt the relief and the healing beginning. My stepfather confessed some of his own sins in his reply. We are now able to move forward with new love.
When I told my wife about seeing my anger and lack of forgiveness, she immediately saw why I had been so reluctant to preach the gospel to my mother and stepfather. It was because of my anger.
Thank you, Lord, that you took away the anger and let me forgive.
