God is among us.
In responding to one of our church memberamprsquos request for prayer for his depressed father, I was reminded of my failing to ask for prayers for my family during my recent visit to them in Canada. In relating a touching movie (Still Human) to my wife that I watched on the flight about a Filipino maid caring for a paraplegic Chinese man in Hong Kong and the growth of their relationship as they learn about themselves and each other despite language difficulties, my wife said, ampldquoThatamprsquos just like our story of sharing through QT and mokjang.amprdquo She saw the bigger, connecting point, which led to a discussion of my lack of sharing from Canada during my recent visit. This QT sharing is my penitent application of redressing that.
In todayamprsquos passage Paul talks about the difference between speaking in tongues, which edifies the speaker but leaves others bewildered while speaking prophetic words edifies everyone and shows that ampldquoGod is really among usamprdquo (25). Sharing the stories of Godamprsquos action in our lives are prophetic words. Prophecy is not just about the future and often not at all about the future. Itamprsquos about the present. God repeatedly tries to break through Ahabamprsquos thick skull so that they can have the relationship God desires. I, too, have a thick skull, and donamprsquot readily see that Godamprsquos work through me and my communityamprsquos prayers is for the upbuilding of my relationship with him and the strengthening of my spiritual community.
Godamprsquos good work in me and my family this year began with my sisteramprsquos two week visit to Seoul. I was anxious about the visit because her visit to me in India had proved disastrous and I was fearful of something similar. I prayed every day for the Holy Spirit to be with me during her visit, but I donamprsquot remember asking my community for their prayerful support. The real issue was not my sisteramprsquos visit but my relationship with my sister, which was almost entirely negative on my side going back to our teen years. I didnamprsquot particularly like my sister because she wasnamprsquot like me or my friends and I stubbornly refused to see her good qualities. Her talk especially bothered me because I saw it as superficial and pointless, a lot of noisy breath. And she repeated the same things over and over in the same conversation. Long ago I had stopped listening to her. She was speaking tongues as far as I was concerned. During her visit I promised myself and my wife that I would truly listen to her for the first time in my life.
The difference was remarkable! I looked at her instead of looking away and I asked questions, genuinely wanting to know things about her that I never asked before. I discovered a depth of wisdom and self-understanding in her that I never gave her credit for. I heard her own confession of sin that led to her divorce. I learned things about her relationship with our grandparents that I never knew. I learned things about our father in his last days because she was a nurse in the hospital where he died. I learned about her insight into other family members. I was heartily ashamed of having ignored my sister for most of our lives because I had missed so much! Just by changing my attitude to love and truly listening to her, I found myself built up and our relationship set on a new course. This was Godamprsquos work, not mine.
When I visited Canada, I began each mini visit with my step-daughter, my step-father, my son, and my daughter with my changed attitude towards my sister. That confession ushered me into deeper relationships with all those people. God forgive me, but I was honestly surprised at the looks of surprise on their faces and then the softening of their looks towards me. Again, Godamprsquos work. A layer of judgmentalism in me had been knocked away and I would be safer to talk to, safer to love.
Because Iamprsquove already shared my visit with my step-daughter and her struggle, indeed the whole familyamprsquos struggle with her son announcing he was transgender, I will only say that I cried with her for this latest episode of rejection in her life and then explained the difference between living worldly values where selfishness is always at the centre and living biblical ones in which Godamprsquos love is at the centre.
When I visited my step-father, who is suffering a great loneliness since my motheramprsquos death after fifty years of marriage, I took the lesson of listening from my sisteramprsquos visit and asked questions and learned a lot about his childhood that helped me understand him better. He was clearly relieved that we could talk positively about her. As he talked about his memories of my mother, he was led to talk about his own death.
He said he was sure she was in heaven and would wave to him at the gate of heaven because he would be going the other way. Inspired by the Holy Spirit, I said it was easy to get into heaven, you just had to ask Jesus. His whole face beamed with joy and he gave the biggest smile Iamprsquod ever seen on him as he looked straight at me and said, ampldquoYouamprsquore right!amprdquo Always before, he stopped any conversation about God, Jesus, and worship before it could begin. Suddenly, here he was welcoming the name of Jesus and happily acknowledging him as the way to heaven. Although this falls short of a clear repentance, it seems to me to be remarkably close to what Paul says that when you believe in your heart and say with your mouth that Jesus is Lord you are saved. I saw a man believe in his heart that Jesus is Lord and heard him agree to my words that Jesus is the way. I believe this is the Spirit in action.
My son had followed my lead in belittling my sister over the years. According to my sister, he had become actively mean to her at family events, which had been noticed by others. When I met him and talking to him and his wife about my sisteramprsquos visit and my belated discoveries about her, a highly praised nurse, a caring daughter of her parents, and a sensitive soul well able to see many of her own sins, I saw the look on his face, a look of profound surprise. Unusual for him, he made no comment to my testimony. His wife, however, expressed delight, saying, ampldquoGod really helped you!amprdquo More than that, he did it all. I finally got my prideful self out of the way long enough so that he could work.
Iamprsquom sorry to my spiritual community that I didnamprsquot ask for your prayers more diligently, and Iamprsquom sorry for not sharing more timely and regularly the work of God in my life because his work in me is not just for me but for the benefit of all of you, too, just as all the sharings of our community build us up. The Westminster Confession says that our life purpose is to know God and live in a close relationship with him. Just like Ahab, I keep missing the point. Iamprsquom grateful to our community and Godamprsquos Holy Spirit for reminding me and steering me back to the path I need to be on.
ampldquoGod is truly among you.amprdquo
