Psalm 90. We finish our years with a moan.
Life is short and life is hard. Todayamprsquos psalm reminds me of my compulsory mortality and the dustiness of my days (v. 3). I am like the grass once new but now dry and withered (v.6). My days may come to seventy years or eighty but they are trouble and sorrow (v. 10). I am sixty-seven years old so maybe I have only three years left or perhaps thirteen. But even that little time is enough to fill with sin. I long to number my days that I might gain a heart of wisdom (v. 12) even though I seem to show only my folly.
Today I had to talk to my high school senior students concerning a standardized test to measure their reading and math academic abilities. My school administers this test to all our students because it helps us and them track their progress over the years. It helps them see that their learning is growing and it helps us see that we are doing a good job teaching.
Because it is a test that has no bearing on the studentsamprsquo grades, senior students sometimes balk at taking the test and simply press ampldquonextamprdquo on the computer key and finish the test in ten minutes with a zero score. Motivating the students to do their best sometimes proves difficult.
I talked to my students before the test. I shared with them the story of my wife and I at the bank. We were there to open a special account and the paperwork took us past the bankamprsquos closing hour. We could stay of course to finish our business but the bank began lowering the security doors to seal off the bank office from the ATMs. My wife remembered that she had left her umbrella by the ATMs when she first entered the bank. She asked me to get her umbrella. I looked at the descending security doors. I imagined myself scooting under the doors and getting the umbrella but being unable to get back. So I didnamprsquot get the umbrella. I told my wife weamprsquod get it later. She said somebody would take it because it was raining. I said no one would take it. I made no effort to ask the guard to stop the doors from coming down any further or consider going out of the bank to get the umbrella.
When we finished our bank business and went out of the bank and then entered the ATM area, the umbrella was gone. My wife looked at me sadly and said, ampldquoYou donamprsquot care for me. If that had been your umbrella you would have got it. But you donamprsquot take care of me. You make me feel lonely.amprdquo
My wife was right. If I truly and deeply loved my wife, I would take better care of her, I would have examples of my care for her. But all I had was an example of not caring for her, of not getting her umbrella, which triggered memories of other examples. No wonder she felt lonely. I paid attention to myself only most of the time.
I told this story to my senior high school students. I told them my age and how much longer I might live and how I feared those days would continue to be filled with examples of my carelessness not love. Then I told them the test they were about to write was not for them, it was for their favorite teachers who loved them and had taught them, it was for their parents who loved them and sacrificed for them. I asked them not miss the small chances to show love as I had because the days are evil and time is short. I reminded them that I had failed an important test and I prayed God would give me others I might pass.
Application: to show my sin of my failure to love to my students, to repent, and do my QT more diligently than I have these last few months.
Heavenly father, take not your Holy Spirit from me, let me not be a dry old man empty of love for others. Let me not end my life with a moan but with the praise of your holy name on my lips.
