Matt. 5:1-12. Lord have mercy.
ampldquoBlessed are the merciful,amprdquo says Jesus. I was certainly not prepared to be merciful to a young church member today. My wife calls him my gum because over the last year heamprsquos been stuck to me like gum.
Heamprsquos a troubled young Korean here to do his military service. His parents had divorced when he was in elementary school and he grew up with his mother and brother in LA. He dropped out of high school and started using drugs. His brother, who had come to Korea, observed that his mother was unaware of his drug use and appealed to their father to get him out of that environment. His father is a chiropractor and was once a member of Wooridle. I met my ampldquogumamprdquo at his fatheramprsquos clinic and invited him to Wooridle. He came. He believes in Jesus.
The young man has no friends and small social skills. He refused to join a young peopleamprsquos mokjang but would come to my couples mokjang. I became his main listener. Over the year of his coming to worship and mokjang, for which I always had to call to remind him, we learned something of his life and encouraged him to maintain his worship. His troubles were beyond me to solve and not mine to solve anyway.
My role was to get him to worship and, if possible, to a psychologist or psychiatrist, who could deal with his obvious depression.
I got him to go to a psychologist once last year but he didnamprsquot follow up with further appointments and counselling. His depression deepened and his demands on me to meet him and talk made me more and more frustrated because I was always listening to the same story and his refusal or inability to do anything to help himself. He always had excuses and fears. My mercy had its limits.
He was my alarm clock this morning, calling me because of his dark thoughts, a symptom of his depression. I told him he had to go to the psychologist. He made an excuse, wanting to meet me instead. I told him I would only meet him if he first went to the psychologist. He went. While he was waiting to see the doctor, he called me repeatedly, voicing his anxieties.
After he saw the doctor, he called again full of fears and anxieties because the doctor wanted to admit him to the psych ward in the hospital. I did my best with the gospel to calm him and agreed to meet him as I promised. I also said I would be at the hospital tomorrow when heamprsquos admitted because I want to make sure he goes. My wife will talk to his father to explain everything.
This is an important step in this young manamprsquos long term healing. He has kept his worship as best he could and God guided him and me to get him to a psychologist to help his depression.
Despite this good and merciful result, I look at myself and my anger and lack of mercy as I was peppered with calls today, interfering with my work. Every call elicited from me an explosion of ampldquoNot again!amprdquo and the memory of a yearamprsquos frustrating conversations. But I could no more not answer his call than I could stop breathing. He was my ampldquogumamprdquo, Godamprsquos gift to me to prove I had no patience and no mercy unless the Lord gave them to me.
Application: to meet the young man at the hospital tomorrow so heamprsquos not alone when heamprsquos admitted.
Lord, thank you for showing my utter helpless to be merciful, righteous, peaceful or meek. Change me through a deeper understanding of your holy word. Thank you for your mercy on the young man who is suffering.
