Blowing Winds
Itamprsquos been a terrible windy season in the Caribbean and southeastern US, a bad hurricane season. In the news broadcasts we see winds blowing on the seas and lands and the trees (1). The pictures always show us waves crashing and trees bent in the wind. Are those the sorts of winds that the angels are holding back?
What wind is blowing me to what repentance?
Because my youngest daughter lives in the southeast US, I naturally think of her when storms are heading her way. Three years ago a bad storm toppled an old tree by her house. A big branch broke through the roof and wall of her bedroom and narrowly missed killing her. I thank God that he spared her, but she doesnamprsquot thank God because she has no faith.
When she lived with me two years ago, I tried to push her into a belief of Jesus, but it didnamprsquot work, of course. I learned a huge lesson from that, a lesson that continues to teach me. To bring a wayward child to faith, you donamprsquot lecture them on God. You gently share your story because that helps you be a lot less judgemental.
I tried to blow God at all my children like a hurricane, not just at Tess. It didnamprsquot work with any of them because hurricanes are mostly destructive. Sometimes they clear away what needs to be cleaned up, but mostly they wreck things.
What did work for me was leaving theology to the theologians and just sharing my feeling about my children, about their mother, about me and my life of mistakes and muddles. I smiled on them like the sun that had a contest with the wind to see who could get the man to take off his coat.
I experienced four hurricanes when I lived in North Carolina. They arenamprsquot fun. When a hurricane is over and you go out of your house into the streets, you find itamprsquos dangerous walking. Thereamprsquos broken glass and sharp bits of wood and pieces of metal and sometimes snakes. I was reminded of that when Dr. Jung recently spoke of his daughter whose troubles were caused by his pride and his frustration with her. When he tried to apologize, she said living with him was like walking on knives.
Thatamprsquos what hurricane winds do, create an environment of knives where itamprsquos hard to walk safely. I have been a big wind to my children, not just a windbag. I blew so hard that they all ran away at one point and I didnamprsquot understand. I was so sure I was doing a good job and the right thing. I was so sure that they were the problem, not me.
They carried the burden of my sin and I needed to repent if I was ever to have a peaceful relationship with them. I apologized over and over and I started to blow gently with my scars and hurts. I prayed. I still pray for them every day. And now I talk to them every two weeks through video calls. They feel free to share their lives and I feel free to share my life and my worship. One day they will open the door to Jesus.
Application: invite Tess, my last one, to start regular video calls.
Lord, let me feel the wind of repentance and continue to clean up the mess of my sins in my childrenamprsquos lives.
