Rev 2:1-11 First Love
When I first began attending Wooridle Church, doing QT was hard. It was hard because I wasnamprsquot used to looking at myself with much objectivity. One-to-one training helped, then one-to-one teacher training helped a bit more, then Yaymo 1 and Yaymo 2 training helped even more.
But after one-to-one training, it was really listening to the sermons with new ears and going to mokjang every week, listening to others share and giving my own sharing that changed me. The training was more a confirmation of that change.
Because of the sermons, mokjang, and the training courses, which all required QTs, my enthusiasm for QT grew because I understood through experience that this was where the Holy Spirit inspired me to see my sinfulness more clearly by interpreting my life through the Word.
As I lost more and more of my desire to hide my shame from myself and others, I found a new freedom in my relationship with God. The more I saw my sinfulness, the more I loved God for not giving up on me, not casting me aside as I deserved.
Although this took a few years and might not be considered first love, I think it was. How could I love God from my previous position of unjustified pride in my faith and in my sense of entitled salvation?
My QT became one of my best ways of meeting God, a way of showing my love. So, when this past summer my QTs dropped off, it was like meeting God just three days a week in the sermon and mokjang instead of every day of the week. Occasional contact is no way to maintain a relationship and grow in it. I was like the church in Ephesus doing hard work and persevering in my faith but not with the same energy and desire to meet God because I had forsaken my first love of him.
God did not remove my lampstand, he removed my breath and my health. Even though an x-ray of my chest showed a perfectly healthy set of lungs, I coughed until I couldnamprsquot breathe for no good physical reason. Then I understood, repented and returned to QT with a penitent heart. Within a few days I was healthy again and praising God for his grace to a wayward son.
Application: help a brother understand what sin really is and just how sinful we are.
Lord, let me meet you daily in my prayers and my QT. Grow my love for you, deepen my understanding, and quicken my obedience to your will.
