Rev. 1: 1-8. ampldquoTo him who loves usamprdquo (5)
We went to a wedding this evening. It was the marriage of the grown up son of a couple from our Ansan mokjangs. He was a problem boy ten years ago because his parents were problem parents. Now heamprsquos married to a Wooridle woman and about to enter the hard life of marriage. Many of the Ansan mokjang members were there who had been in a mokjang with the parent couple over the years. It was a bit like a reunion, seeing the sinful faces weamprsquod known for years.
We reviewed past sins and brought ourselves up-to-date on those sins, some of them still not fully repented and needing more sharing. We shared the sin of our Yangpyeong house and soon we had a table of people laughing at recalling one mokjaamprsquos son who tried to burn the apartment after his father remarried following the death of his wife. My wife recalled the time her brother burned up a plastic microwave pot on the gas range and then denied heamprsquod done it despite the black, plastic soot covering the kitchen walls.
These God-sanctioned incidents helped us see the sins in our lives we werenamprsquot noticing. It was good to remember them and add more to the sharing. We are sinful through and through and there is no health in us. Thatamprsquos why God, who despite the daily proof or our undeserving, ampldquofreed us from our sins by our bloodamprdquo (5). We need saving and only a loving God is willing and able to do it.
I went to the bank today and finally arranged to increase my monthly payment to my daughter Tess. It was far more complicated than I thought it would be and it took a lot longer than I figured. I had time to reflect on my sin of making her against common sense and the sanction of marriage. I made her out of my selfish desire for her mother in the unreasonable hope of happiness in a fantasy marriage I imagined would occur.
I paid for that sin with job loss, humiliation, bankruptcy, and exodus from my native land. Tessamprsquos conception wasnamprsquot the only sin that drove me into ruin, but it was the one that toppled over my tower of sins and shattered my life. As I sat in the bank reflecting that I donamprsquot deserve Godamprsquos mercy, I donamprsquot deserve Jesusamprsquo sacrifice of himself to free me from my sins, I had a tiny moment of realizing Godamprsquos great love. Only love would die for someone who doesnamprsquot deserve it.
If I merited Redemption, I wouldnamprsquot need Jesusamprsquo sacrifice. Itamprsquos because I donamprsquot merit Redemption at all due to my total depravity that I need Godamprsquos love and his sacrifice to free me from my sins. And as I accept that truth and feel ever more deeply my sinful state then I can be made into the priest to serve God and my neighbour that John declares in verse 6.
Application: setting the date for starting 1:1 training with a small group member in order to see our sins and find Godamprsquos love.
Lord, let me not forget my undeserving and your unmerited mercy that saves me from marring further your image in me.
