ampldquoYou will not go unpunishedamprdquo (29). Godamprsquos Cup of Wrath
For the last two weeks Iamprsquove been sick with a big cold that the doctor said was allergy related. Iamprsquove taken more medicine in that time than I took all year! I took so much that I felt sick whenever I had to take the next dosage. I coughed so hard and for so long that I was always on the edge of vomiting.
I couldnamprsquot sleep. I had waking nightmares that my lungs burst out of my chest and showed themselves as heaps of sponges squeezing blood.
I felt like I was going crazy!
I complained because I had lost my breath. I complained because no medicine relieved my symptoms.
I complained because I could no longer follow my fitness routine of swimming and going to the gym.
I complained because I kept my wife up in the night.
I complained because I couldnamprsquot read my books because I was too tired to focus and I coughed too much to hold the book.
I badgered God about what the problem was.
Why was I in this condition? Why was my pot smashed? Why were my figs rotten? Why was I in Babylon?
I was hearing the answer the whole time, of course, in every Wednesday sermon and every Sunday sermon: go to worship, read the QT passage many times in the day, do your QT, share your QT, pray.
I was going to worship and going to mokjang, but that was it. Bit by little bit over the summer I spent less and less time on my QT. I read it only twice, then only once a day. My QT degenerated into a couple of sentences, then stopped. I didnamprsquot share because I had nothing to share because I had not reflected on my sinful life.
The same thing happened with my praying. I seriously prayed on Sunday and Wednesday worship, and on Saturday mokjang.
I rarely prayed on the other days when once upon a time I prayed every morning and every night of the week in addition to Sunday, Wednesday and Saturday. We have a special prayer room in our house for that, but more and more the door was closed with no one inside.
God kept reminding me to change. Then, because I wasnamprsquot listening, he took away my breath, which in turn took away most of my energy. My school started at the same time but I couldnamprsquot be ready to help my new teachers and new students. I was half dead.
Last night, my wife and I prayed to God in sincere repentance. We knew what we had done wrong. It is ampldquoin God that I live and breathe and have my beingamprdquo (Acts 17:28). By putting only part of myself in God, the rest of me was losing my breath!
So now I am back praying. I am back reading the QT passage throughout the day and writing my reflection at night.
Although God promises to honour and protect us when we honour, worship and praise him, there is more to it than that.
Basically, I donamprsquot live outside of God. I canamprsquot anymore. Nor do I even want to.
Everything that needs to be done in my life will be done after I have obeyed and continue to obey my God, as Jeremiah keeps reminding me.
God is first and my relationship with him is first.
Praise the Lord!
Application: Share this QT, then pray.
Lord, forgive me for turning away from you and then continuing my wrong path, thinking I had perhaps done enough by thinking of you once or twice in the day. Let me live wholeheartedly in your lovingkindness and pray for those you have put in my life.
