Matthew 9:9-17.
Jesus tells Matthew the tax collector to follow him, which he does, giving up tax collecting. Jesus and his disciples have dinner at Matthew’s house with other tax collectors and sinners. When the Pharisees complain, Jesus says the sick need the doctor not the healthy. When John’s disciples complain that Jesus’ disciples don’t fast, Jesus says it’s not the time to fast. Jesus says new wine should not be put in old wineskins but in new ones so they don’t burst.
I have a judgmental tear in me that will not stay patched.
I keep trying to put a patch over that gaping sin in me but it doesn’t work.
Just when I think my coat of righteousness has been repaired, something happens and the patch rips off leaving a bigger hole than before.
#65279;
Before my brother in law came to live with us three years ago, I thought I had conquered my negative attitude towards the handicapped.
I thought I was gentle and caring. He had briefly lived with us five years ago in Ansan and I actually did care for him and helped him do his physical exercise.
Then he left, returning to his wife. I congratulated myself on my good deed.
Then he came back three years ago and what I saw was a handicapped man who was the mirror of myself: proud, self-serving, selfish and careless.
The gentle, caring, loving patch I thought I had put over my self-righteousness ripped away, exposing a bigger hole than ever.
I despaired of ever becoming better than I am.
The more I try to change, the more I see how helpless I am to change.
I may act like I’m different but I’m not. I admit defeat. I need more than a patch. I need a whole new coat.
Lord, change me, please. I can’t do it. Give me your hands to carry my cross today and every day.
